This will be the final installment of this series concerning how to be a jubilee forgiver. We left off last time after giving you practical tip #5. Next, and this is really a logical outflow from rule number five. Rule number six in practicing jubilee forgiveness is that “It is a life-long commitment.”
Joseph made a commitment to himself, to God, and to his brothers that he would never reveal their sin against him, not to the Egyptians, not to the rest of the family. It was between them, and them alone.
Likewise, David came to the conclusion that he would never dump the burden of his sin on Bathsheba. It would serve no good purpose, and in fact, it could very well destroy their marriage.
Rule six applies to all types of forgiveness situations. When we have forgiven someone, it has to be for the rest of our lives. If we renege, then it was not true forgiveness. If we give in to those feelings of resentment and bitterness again, and let them stir up our minds with lots of self-pity, then we have not truly forgiven our offender.
Nobody said achieving jubilee forgiveness would be easy. Most of us will struggle to achieve true forgiveness for someone or perhaps a number of offenders or offenses.
The life-long commitment means that when the temptation to resent the offender pops up in our consciousness again, that we once more assert the mental and spiritual act of forgiving them. Go down the list of items if you have to.
Go through that list and refresh your memory on what it means to be a jubilee forgiver, and what jubilee forgiveness is not, and how to do it. I can tell you, that if you are having trouble forgiving someone, you are not alone.
I have the same problem, and I daresay, so do almost all Christians. But by God’s grace, we will all some day, in a step-by-step manner, get better and better at it until one day we realize that jubilee forgiveness has now become a lifestyle for us.
Therefore, we must realize that jubilee forgiveness is not an act; it is an attitude. It is not a one-time event: that we forgive a person and that’s the end of it. Because as we just mentioned, some offenders and what they did to us, seem to keep creeping back into our consciousness.
So we must pray to God for the grace to develop that attitude of forgiveness within our hearts. So that we may forgive them daily if that is what it takes: seventy times seven.
As we go back to the story of Joseph in Genesis 50 now, it appears that 17 years later, after all that Joseph had done for his brothers, that when father Jacob died, that the brothers again gave in to fear.
Genesis 50:15 And when Joseph’s brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him.
16 And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying,
17 So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him.
18 And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants.
Joseph wept. Why do you suppose he wept? Was it not because he was so saddened that they still did not understand the depth of his forgiveness for them? That they were still suffering under the bondage of guilt for their sins against him?
It hurt Joseph to see them still suffering like they were, full of fear that he was now going to exact his revenge upon them. And so once again, 17 years after he had assured them of his forgiveness, Joseph reassures them once more, that they have no reason to fear and that they shouldn’t even feel guilty over it because it was all part of God’s design.
19 And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?
20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.
You see, with Joseph, his forgiveness was a life-long commitment. It was a lifestyle of forgiveness. His forgiveness of his brothers was just as real and effective now as it had been 17 years earlier.
When Jesus from the cross spoke the words of forgiveness, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” do you suppose that in the forty days after His resurrection that He had any second thoughts about it, and decided to withdraw His forgiveness? Of course not.
When we have confessed sin to God and He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9), can we count on God never holding that over our heads? You bet we can! Our job is to go and do likewise. But some—in fact many of us will wonder—and I know this is a very important question—how can we tell when we have really forgiven someone?
The answer to that is found in the seventh and final rule for practicing jubilee forgiveness. Number seven is: “We will bless those who have offended us.”
This, I believe, is the best test of whether or not we have truly forgiven someone. And if you have ever tried to bless your enemies, then you know that it is not easy, is it?
Did Joseph bless his offenders? Well, let’s see. He gave them the best land in Egypt. He essentially set them all up in business and caused them all to be prosperous. He fed them, clothed them, housed them, and much more. He blessed them with that which was within his power to do.
What about Jesus? Remember we read the part earlier about how the disciples had all abandoned Jesus when the fire got hot? And then when Jesus rose from the dead and appeared in their midst, did He berate them and scold them for being cowards? Did He say “You all have forsaken me, so I now forsake you, you bunch of chickens. Off to Tyson Foods, all of you, and meet your doom!”
No, there was not one word of condemnation from our Lord, was there? And not only did Jesus put them at ease: by saying: Peace be unto you. Not only did He not condemn them; He blessed them! How? He breathed on them and gave them Holy Spirit. He gave them a divine gift.
Oh…., but blessing those who have offended us can be so difficult. I would even go so far as to say that if you are having trouble forgiving someone, such that every time you think of them, the old feelings of anger, resentment, bitterness, and self-pity and self-righteousness arise again within you, and you are frustrated because you just cannot seem to be able to get rid of those feelings once and for all, then may I suggest that even if it means that you have to grit your teeth while you do it, that you bless your offender.
Because by God’s grace and by that act of your will, you will be able (maybe instantly, but more likely, gradually) to experience a change of heart about your offender, to the point where those old feelings finally disappear and that now, when you think of that offender, you praise God and thank Him for having sent that offender into your path, because it is only by being offended that we can have the opportunity to become overcomers and jubilee forgivers.
So someone is wondering “So, James, specifically, how do we bless our offender?” The answers are myriad. Just give it some thought and God will bring some means to your mind by which you can bless that individual. It doesn’t mean you have to write them a check. It could, but it doesn’t have to mean that. It doesn’t mean that you have to invite the person to come visit with you for a week.
In fact, it should be obvious that some offenses are such that it is best for all concerned if we never set eyes on that person again. For example, in the case of forgiving a murderer. Or remember the Joel Sonnenberg case? …The young man who as a toddler had been burned and disfigured so horribly in the fiery motor vehicle accident?
For figure skater Nancy Kerrigan, it doesn’t mean that she has to skate with (or in competition against) Tonya Harding again. In the case of a marriage that went south, and the couple are divorced after very many bitter years, forgiveness can be genuine. It can be achieved, and yet it might be best if they never saw each other again.
If you cannot think of any other way to bless your offender, then at the very least, you MUST pray to our heavenly Father for them. And I do not mean that we pray in this manner: [in a sing-song manner] “Father, I just commend them into your hands, for you to handle them as you see fit.”
Because that kind of prayer simply betrays an attitude that there is still a desire for vengeance in one’s heart. So I do not mean to suggest that we pray imprecatory prayers (curses) upon our offenders. What I mean is that we should pray that Father will shower positive blessings upon them. Jesus said:
Luke 6:28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.
Be specific in your prayers. Pray that they win the lottery (although on second thought, that may not be a blessing). Pray that they have a happy marriage. Pray that your offender’s business will prosper. Pray that their children will grow up healthy and loving God. Use your imagination.
And to repeat, even if it requires you to grit your teeth, just do it. And then do it again tomorrow and the day after that. Do it every day for 21 days and then take a self-check and see how you feel about them. Don’t be surprised if your prayers have a boomerang effect and come back to you with blessing upon you.
I had (he has passed away) a dear friend who has told this story publicly and so I am sure he wouldn’t mind my repeating it. It is a great example of how God works through true forgiveness. Now I may have some of the details wrong, but that will not affect the lesson.
To set the stage, we recall that in Matthew 18, Jesus gives a procedure for dealing with an erring brother. It has three steps: first, tell him privately. If he doesn’t repent, take along another person or two, and if that doesn’t work, tell it to the church so he can be shunned and disfellowshipped, if necessary. All this assumes of course, that the person is actually sinning and it’s not just a doctrinal or other personal disagreements or differences of opinion.
Well, my friend was being Matthew 18’d at the time, so he decided to bring a message about blessing them who curse you. After he finished, a woman came up to him and told him her story. How that when she and her husband first got married, her husband’s mother told her that she was not good enough for her son.
And that went on for five years. Then one night, the wife had this terrible dream where she saw a black tornado over her mother-in-law’s house. She woke up in a cold sweat, and so she decided to pray blessings on her and ask the Lord to protect her and her house, etc. The very next morning her mother-in-law called her on the phone and begged her forgiveness for the way that she had been treating her.
So when my friend heard that testimony, he said it hit him like the proverbial ton of bricks. Because he had been married 22 years and he himself had nearly the same situation and he had just given a message on blessing them who curse you and he said it had never dawned on him to pray for his mother-in-law.
He had met his wife at college and had never met his future mother-in-law until he had proposed to his wife. And so on the very first time he met his mother-in-law, she told him: “I don’t like you and I never will.” He thought, what did I do to deserve that? That was very hurtful.
In the early years of their marriage, the mother-in-law would let my friend know on numerous occasions that she didn’t like him. She would say, I just don’t think I will ever be able to accept you as one of the family.
Well, naturally, this does not endear you to a person who tells you that. It’s hurtful. And so there at the Bible conference where he had just heard the story of the black tornado, it occurred to my friend that he ought to pray blessings upon his mother-in-law. And so he did. Not just once, but many, many times.
Whenever he would think of her, he would ask God to bless her. Well, the next time he saw his mother-in-law, they were at a family gathering and his mother-in-law suddenly told him, “You know, you’ve been married to my daughter for 22 years now. You’re alright. I guess it’s time to accept you into the family now.”
That opened up a new level of relationship between my friend and his mother-in-law that they had never experienced before. I have met his in-laws and I can assure you there is a fine relationship between them now. No bitterness, no acrimony.
Jubilee forgiveness will do wonderful things for you. When you think about it, it’s almost a selfish thing in a way. But yet, isn’t that the way God works? He wants what is best for you, but He often makes the way full of obstacles which He has designed for us to have to overcome. It is not easy, but the rewards are better than we can imagine.
It is time to close this study. I may not have provided much on the idea of forgiving God, but, not to worry, you can simply request my personal testimony on forgiveness, which I titled Could You Forgive God? That pair of CDs are free for the asking and in there we discuss that topic. I do not intend to blog that material.
This has been a relatively short series of lectures and blogs, at least by my standards, and yet I feel that it is one of the most important ones of all, because becoming jubilee forgivers is one of the chief marks of an overcomer.
Addendum: There are a gazillion books out there about the topic of forgiveness. We do not in any way claim that our teachings are the end-all, be-all on this vital topic.
In the intervening years since I presented this material in lecture and CD form, I have been blessed with learning more aspects of forgiveness through the teachings of Jeanette Strauss.
We first heard Jeanette speak at the God’s Kingdom Ministries Bible Conference in the Twin Cities ca. 2012-2014 (I cannot at the moment remember the exact year.) There we obtained her books, From the Courtroom of Heaven to the Throne of Grace and Mercy, and the companion book, From the Courtroom of Heaven: Prayers & Petitions.
We already had some familiarity with spiritual warfare, but her books offered practical applications to real-life situations that most Christians will encounter at some point in their lives. Therefore, we carried that pair of her books (best obtained as a set) for our readers for many years.
It is no criticism of Jeanette to say that we do not agree with every jot and tittle in the books, nevertheless, we found them very enlightening and helpful. After all, I attest that the only books I agree with totally are God’s Holy Word, and my own books. But of the latter, I am sure there are flaws; while of the former, the only flaws are our understanding of His Word.
That said, I just checked today and Jeanette’s books are still available directly from her website linked here.
I close this series by encouraging all of us to run this race with patience and with persistence. Do not ever give up. As long as we live, people will offend us, but by the grace of God we will come to a place in this life where we can quickly and completely forgive our offenders, thank God for them, and make the practice of jubilee forgiveness a way of life. May God bless all of us with that grace!
~END~
